I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
