i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
