I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
