it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
