And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
