yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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