At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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