white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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