I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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