dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
