Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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