Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
