Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
