i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
