Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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