Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
