There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
there is glitter all over my balls
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