That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
