I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
