I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
