You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
