just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
