the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
