It's Friday. Sex?
one might say we're banned from that church
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
