I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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