Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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