You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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