What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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