he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
