Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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