This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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