Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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