Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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