so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
