I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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