he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
