I wish my penis had an off switch
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
