He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
