How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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