I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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