Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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