Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
