ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
