It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
