He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this just has baby written all over it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
