Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
