Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
