just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
