You're a womanizer and a bitch.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
