it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
