you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
