Please, let me fuck your mom
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
