i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
