So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
