She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The air was thick with penises
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
