Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
