He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Bring me that man meat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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