i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
