If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
